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Friday, April 13, 2012

Update

I'll be updating my blog in a few weeks. I'll need to scroll over to the profile part of the page and update our location from North Dakota to Michigan. Yeah, it's the same spot that I switched from Michigan to North Dakota a little over two years ago.

People keep asking if I am excited to be going "home." The reality is we are thrilled to be near family again. The other reality is I find myself mourning the loss of this place, the place I came to kicking and screaming. This is the place I told God I didn't want to go. Why should we go if we were being effective/helpful/useful right where we were. Oh yeah, we needed a job and they have those in North Dakota.

After God busted through every excuse and road block that I put up, I found myself in my own personal wilderness. I felt like Moses wandering around in the desert (in my case the prairies) without direction, purpose or a place to call home. I combed my Bible looking for some sort of solace, studying the word hope with the intent of finding some again.

The funny thing is I found it... I found hope. I found purpose. I found a home. God blessed us richly in our wilderness with family that we are not related to - a group of like-minded and compassionate people. We've been given occupations and service opportunities that we find a great sense of purpose out of. We've made a home here...

And now I am heartbroken to leave this place. I come to the edge of tears when I think of how long it will be until I see some of these dear people again, or to sing at the top of my lungs with arms open wide at Bethel, or to finish my work/efforts against human trafficking in this community.

It will be a different woman that will make a home in a familiar place. I am not who I was, nor do I wish to be. I am changed. I can't step back into what was, so my thoughts turn to what can be. There is a plan, a purpose, and hope. If I can be found in North Dakota - I can be found anywhere.

So let the adventures begin... again.